Happy New Year!

It's 1 January 2010 here on this side of the earth, even if the time stamp on the blog is still set to USA. The sun hasn't exploded, and no one is racing around on jetpacks yet, so don't get too excited.

I had a question about your last post though: Your bath took a whole hour?!

Shiet, I'd channel some face-clawing rage if I had an hour-long bath.

I missed the X'mas blog post because... well. I don't really have an excuse, just was too lazy.

We don't get Santa or any tinsel-adorned popcorn-strung candy-wrapped festivities in this agnostic home (these liberal, conspiracy-theorist parents are so boring sometimes, honestly).

But!

It's the time of year that we do a Swedish dinner to keep Dad's heritage somewhat alive, even if he is not particularly traditional.

I say that because this year we actually got to taste some of Mom's fine cookin' in lieu of the exciting dry grub we usually feast on! Mmm! How wonderful! What's on the menu today? Oh, more dry cardboard grub from a bag?

NO?

Dad fixed our dinner *yay!* with a little bit of grilled chicken, and bits of their X'mas feast: smoked salmon, Swedish meatballs, dry grub (what? Shit, that got snuck in there too) and even a little side salad and cheese. He even dished it on a real plate, what civility!


Personally I didn't take for the cheese and chlorophyll. Do I have 'hippie' written on my forehead? No. I ateth the meat. And it was joyous in my belly. Mavie, being the piggy he is, ate it all. Polished off my plate too. Veggie, cheese and all.


Then we went into a food coma.



Happy Holidays, and have a fab 2010 that DOES NOT SUCK like 2009. Smooches!
-R

If there's one thing I tolerated about my time of bath, it would be the awesome wonders it did for my girlish figure:

Reminiscent of High Fashion huh?

In the literary world, this would be called foreshadowing:


So, apparently we're living in the driest continent in the world, which makes it pretty darn hot. I should know, coz last year when the crazy bushfires broke out, we didn't have any air conditioning and it hit 46C/115F. Mav and I would just lie on the bathroom floor all day and stare blankly like zombies.

The old folks got really worried and tried to freeze moist towels but it was pretty lame. Mav and I are both cold weather cats for crying out loud - I have stupidly thick fur, and Mav. Well Mavie is a giant fluffball.

It sucked.

It's going to be 39C/102F today, and the parents were like well. Let's get them prepped for summer, and I thought what? You're going to put us out of the misery and roast us with some rosemary on a rotisserie?

No, worse.

I got ninja-ed into a BATH! AHHHHHH!!! NoooOOoooOoooOoo!

I found the following posted as a link on my roommate's FB wall:

Chococat on the other paw, can kiss my ass.

Mmm, Chicky McChickster, I don't know about your reigning street cred... These incriminating pics have been floating the Net lately. Might have to have a word with your PR department:



Don't worry. Here's a little something to cheer you up when all else fails. Brace thyself.

Okay, suffice is to say that my face does say it all when it comes to actually permitting my roommate to treat me like her lil barbie cat.

Here are some other instances in which I find myself not able to contain my facial disdain.


And my personal fav:
So yeah, I hope that somehow reclaims my street cat cred. I'm thinking of soon taking my cred out to the actual streets and showing you some of the City of Angels. Might have to sneak out when the roommate is out on her long weekend trips. I'll keep you posted.

Super fierce RAWR shot BTW! Damn, that made this puss shiver in her boots!

Oh my anchovy-pickled whiskers!

Please tell me the roomie put you up to it! Judging from your expression of dulled annoyance, I reckon that to be true. Although, you do take pleasure in such twisted joys, who knows.

I would have gathered you for much more kinky outfits... no wait, I take that back. You strike me more of the psychopath killer sort.

Or grumpy grandmother who'd sit on her rocker at the front porch with a shotgun and a flask of gin.

I would KILLETH anyone who'd put those on meeeee! RAWR!

In honor of Halloween's past I'd like to share a few of my alter-egos:


Your new Kingdom looks friggin kick ass! All those places to hide, all those stairs to scurry up and about! I bet you even have your own proper spacious lou!

Man, I fell off the face of the planet for a while!

We had no internet connection for about a month, and it all started when the cardboard boxes started rolling in...

I've been around the block enough (well, having lived in 7 homes, 3 different states, and 2 countries now) to know what happens when the Mom starts packing down boxes.


And usually when the suitcases come out for air, that means that Mom and/or Dad disappear and we get fed more than normal.

But being genetically wired the way we are, jumping and nesting like fat roosting hens in suitcases is quite simply irresistible. It's partly a plead to persuade the parents with our cuteness to pack us along to the invisible land beyond the front door, and it's partly a contemplative notion of how well they would make litter boxes.



But then it started getting kinda noisy around the house and the parents were getting stressed out. One Saturday, Mom disappeared and some strange men showed up and Dad helped them take all our stuff! Mavie and I hid in a corner in the bedroom trembling until the din finally died down.

When Mom finally showed up, they stuck us into our carriers which freaked us out even more because we thought we were going to be quarantined again! I cried and cried and cried, but then I realized Mom was driving us a plasticky-smelling car. I've never seen Mom drive before, come to think of it... maybe that's why she was all stressed out.

When we finally got out (it felt like eternity! Probably also because Mom kept getting lost...) Dad rushed us upstairs into this carpeted room that had all our stuff in it, and we didn't dare to leave it for days.


When we finally got the nerve to explore the rest of the place, it seems like we moved into a giant white box! It was so bright I hated it, and kept running upstairs where it was all carpeted and warm and would spend my days hiding under the bedsheets.

And sleeping.

It's so quiet here every little bump would make me jump, and our ears just weren't used to not hearing all the traffic and strangers yelling on the street...


And so here we are, out in the suburbs of Melbourne, or as Mom says "out in the sticks", which I don't get coz there aren't any sticks here. Maybe just those two holding up the baby tree out front...
But I love it!

-R

Yes, life has been pretty eventful lately. (Can you sense my sarcasm?) This has pretty much been the highlight for the past couple weeks. The roommate has been around a little bit more lately, then she'd leave for a good 3-4 days straight.

Which I really don't mind, gives me time to work on my memoirs, that performance art piece and of course blog right?

I hope life has been more exciting on your side of the globe. Please, indulge a pussy in some adventurous stories so I can live vicariously through you.

PS: Licks to Mav from LA...hopefully he's healing nicely :)

Ironically, after that blogging about how annoying Mavie is, his eye infection came back much worse than earlier this year.



It got all red and swollen like before, but the tears just kept streaming down his face and he was so miserable. Mom and Dad called him Not-So-Little-One-Eyed-Cat and took him to the eye specialist again (2 vet visits and 3 trips to the eye specialist this year).

Mom thinks he caught it initially when we were quarantined, god that sucked! Stuck for a month in jail with other freaked-out and stressed-sick cats...

We hope it'll go away for good this time, but I'll sneak in some extra special love licks to make him all better soon. They think it's antibiotics, but really.



It's special licks.

-R

Okay, let me just apologize for how long it's really taking me to post...

I'm not as internet savvy as I thought I was. It seriously took me way too long to figure out how to friggin log into my account, not even mention make a god damn blog posting. Jesus christos!

OMG!!! Yes you do have yourself a little spotlitght whore don't you? I seriously don't know how you handle it...you must be made with a higher tolerance than I sweet kitty.

I leave you with a little video of me just chillin and being the beautiful feline I am. Then my precousious roommate coming in to see how playful I may still be.

And then, CLICK CLICK, and he's like, "Oh? Mom's got the camera out..."
And Mav being the limelight hog that he is, actually STOPS mutilating the Crazy Killer Sock (no self-respecting feline would do that) to pose. He literally STOPPED TO POSE.


Pffttt!
-R

This is why my roommate should never leave anything edible unsupervised on the coffee table. Yes, even red velvet cupcakes are not safe within my reach...mwah ha ha!

And in fact I believe it gave me a bit of the runs...so even more fun for my human to take care of!

Damn girl, you got your human trained right! How do you do it? She fails at her attempts to discipline you and throws you rings? I can barely get mine to feed me the 5 times a day in which I deserve to be fed.

Although now I have a feeling that she may be around more often, which will be good because not only can she serve my beacon call but she can maybe start cleaning up the joint. Yes, I do take responsibility for some of the mess and most of the smell, but she's the one with the opposable thumbs.

Maybe once she's used those thumbs/hands for a reason other than pleasuring herself, then I can show you where I like to hide when the world gets to be a bit much for me. You've got some primo spots may I say! Really could not tell where on earth you could possibly be! Tell me though, have you ever experienced any accidental squishing in your disappearing act? Like a tired mom or dad plopping on the bed? That would be my concern, and prolly why I choose not to hide in places where humans can easily get on top of.

In Constant Fear of the Squish,
Mits

Woot!

I can't believe your roomy did that! I swear, next time she's taking a giant #2 in the loo, you sneak in and upload that to Youtube with some sort of title like "Megan Fox frenches Angelina Jolie" and rack up the hits.

Mmm, dahling, I don't know about that chap, he's a big Hugh Granty for me, but from the looks of things, your roomie is busy flirting with him while discussing your kidneys. Here are the kinds of vets apparently that we get over in Australia... or rather, Sydney:

So today I had a surprise visit to that god-awful place that smells like discomfort, disease and dogs.

Yep, I went to the vet too.

No, no need to worry R...they just did that thing where they poke you with that sharp metal thing. I've actually been feeling really good lately.

Oo Mits, that's awesome that you're a freebird again! Glad you moved into new digs and the windows bit is fab, isn't it? We have windows here too, but I don't see that many children, just scantily-clad women going into cars that pull up... I thought it was a taxi stand for a while, but the women get paid instead, so I'm not sure.

Anyway!

Grandma and grandpa are visiting for 2 weeks, and I haven't seen them in years! Mavie was really weirded out because he's never seen them before, so for the past few days he was REALLY quiet. Like, not a peep, and Mom said it was so peaceful. Grandma is really chatty and I try to talk to her, and I keep trying to go into Grandma's room but they won't let me. Mom gets mad when I paw at their door, so I've been running over to the scratching post when I hear her coming. It only fooled her a few times, and Dad got mad after a while. He was saying something about 2AM, whatever that is.

I was bored.

Grandpa talks REALLY loud and he keeps asking us if we're okay, and Grandma is constantly cleaning something. Mom says it's awesome, until one night she couldn't sleep and groggily came out to make her stop.


Which means: everyone spends time with me now and I get all kinds of attention, it's awesome!