Oh my anchovy-pickled whiskers!

Please tell me the roomie put you up to it! Judging from your expression of dulled annoyance, I reckon that to be true. Although, you do take pleasure in such twisted joys, who knows.

I would have gathered you for much more kinky outfits... no wait, I take that back. You strike me more of the psychopath killer sort.

Or grumpy grandmother who'd sit on her rocker at the front porch with a shotgun and a flask of gin.

I would KILLETH anyone who'd put those on meeeee! RAWR!