Speaking of Birds


So for the past couple of weeks I've been hearing this god awful screeching sound coming from my roommate's computer. I was hoping it was something with artistic substance, like some avant garde music made by limbless deaf mutes. But no, it turned out to be this:

Aren't these bitches supposed to be nocturnal?

Yes, my roommate has been on Owl Watch. Watching this owl tend to her eggs, the eggs eventually hatch and the owl's mate brings her food and shags her for a bit.

At least she's been productive during all of this. With my help of course.

I'm a crafty bitch

And yes your Royal Highness, I did indeed miss you much. Please don't make this cryogenic freezer stuff a habit. ;)

Back from the Dead.


You know how sometimes you're watching daytime telly and there'd be these 1-800 ads on selling you anything from funeral insurance to a super-absorbent-made-in-Germany-overpriced-rag?

I got bored and decided to sign up for being Cryogenically Frozen.

Papa can you hear meeeeeeeee...?

It was great for the first 2 minutes. Kinda like those Sensory Deprivation Tanks... where you can't hear other annoying peeping cats and everyone leaves you alone.

Then it got old really quick, and next time I think I'll take a getaway to Fiji instead.

But yeah, that's where I've been.

And now I'm back! Haaiiiiyyaah! *nunchuck-ninja-move!*

Or you can settle for this: my attempt to do the bird.


That's right, my pretty bitter crab apple, Queen Rogueness is back. Hope you didn't miss me much.


Is there something you're not telling me?

Like you've been modeling for the webworld?

You have to admit, the resemblance is uncanny.

How did I find these photos you ask? Well, my roommate left her laptop open to this site:

Curious? Just give it a lil click

And low and behold...in the sidebar I notice:

I think that's your good side

My roommate took that quiz awhile back, and I thought the icon kitty looked familiar. It could have been a fluke, but then I saw that they went into detail with descriptive signs. I had to call you out.

Hope you don't mind...call it retribution for those pussyfoot photos you dug up! Heh!

The Great Outdoors

Holy cowbell! That's a freaky looking eyeball-less, turmeric-stained cat!

Nowhere as pretty as you, my puss. Look how cute and chubby (and not angry looking) you were back then. Aww... now go show it to the roomie and get her to feed you more!

I started feeling better after that reversal injection, and man, it's like I've got the munchies ever since! Maybe it's coz my teeth don't hurt like a bitch anymore or I lost a life in the incident, but man. Hungry hungry!

The other day, we found ourselves a little peeping tom. Look at the fatty on the edge of the roof:

We watch the watcher. The great staredown.

Look at him taunt us! With his bored expression, static-cling fur explosion, and quite simply, his effortless FREEDOM!
Smug blue-eyed bastard.

So finally today, the momkins let us out to the yard for a smidge.

So okay, so I have a problem with lunging for any form of chlorophyll, chowing it down, and then throwing it up on the carpet. Big deal.

So fine, I did that to a bunch of lilies once and nearly died and had to have emergency treatment. So what? That's a stupid excuse to treat me like a prisoner.

I mean, look at my desperate and pathetic joy upon breathing the fresh scent of freedom!

Mmmm gravel! I love the! I rolleth around in thee!

Oh look! Green! Nom nom nom! So much to eat so little time!

Nuu! Chomp-blocked by the Dadster! Boo!

And then the prison warden rang her sinister bells. So I'm back indoors. Blogging. On a beautiful sunny day.

Damn it. I be hungry. Feed me, woman!

New Cat on the Block

Youth is wasted on the young. (and where the fuck are her eyes?)

She's kinda cute for a naive inexperienced lil scrap of fur huh? I'm really tryin not to hate, I feel it doesn't go well with my complexion. Plus, that's really what everyone expects from a bitter ol' cat. And we know how much I love to give people what they expect.

Who is this feline lolita you may ask? Her name is Mrs. Lovett and she belongs to my roommate's former male compainion Henry. They're living a rural town in Colorado now with some a satanic canine. She gets her name from the tale of Sweeney Todd. Mrs. Lovett was the main character's partner in crime who help creatively dispose of his victims bodies by baking them into meat pies. Kinda deranged I know, but my roommate and the company she kept never really was one for the conservative.

You also may have overheard the mention of this male in many a conversation between the ladies back in the day. And by conversation I mean mostly my roommate shouting profanities and your mom patiently listening. As a human, he served me quite adequately. Always providing glasses with condensation for me to lick and a place to make biscuits when the knead came.

With my former subject back in 2004. (what the fuck is up with MY eyes?)

Too bad he wasn't as adequate to my roommate, but hey I guess she's letting by gones be by gones. I never quite knew what that term really means. I personally like to keep a nice firm hold on my grudges with both paws, claws out. You cross me once and I'll remember, hiss at your prescence and god help you if you try to touch me.

Don't think I didn't forget about the ordeal you've gone through. I'm gonna put my sympathies in a comment on your actual entry to see if it helps in the whole organization of the blog and stuff. That way we don't have to wait until each one of us posts an entry. We can just do it whenever we please and comment when need be. What do you think of that Ms. R?

2010 sucks already.

Here's my New Year's Resolution:

NOT go to the bloody vet.

Oh no, that didn't work. How about this.

NOT go to the bloody vet, AGAIN.

Oh no, that didn't work either. Let's try again.

NOT go to the bloody vet, YET AGAIN.

Goddammit! Mom said that she's probably paid of the vet's mortgage this month.

First Mavie got sick and did No.2s and No.3s all over the place. Fortunately for Dad, he had taken some extra holiday time off from work, so he got the honor of cleaning up after his Golden Boy. Vet Trip #1.

When Mavie came home, I smelled that nasty vet smell all over him and I couldn't help it! I HISSED and HISSED at him, which was kinda fun, so I threw in a few more hisses in just for good measure.

Lil' did I know that it would bite me in the ass. Ha. Ha. Pardon the weak pun.

Vet Trip #2: I get checked up, prodded and poked, some cold metal thing stuck up my bum. Verdict? My kidneys were fine (YAY!) but I had 2 teeth that were rotting.


Didn't they just pull out two teeth LAST YEAR?! I'm not breeding jackrabbits in my mouth you know, what on earth am I going to have left?!

Vet Trip #3: Not happy. Mom ninja-ed me after 12 hours of no food, and so it began. I put up a mighty fight mind you, they may have taken my pearly yellows but I bit one of them real good. Just for the heck of it. I'm not usually very testy at the vet but, hey. Gotta throw some whippersnapper in there for good measure.

And then it was all a haze...

Despite having all these stupid expensive tests done for bloodwork blah blah vital organs reaction blah blah stuff, I ended up going home like a mindlessly drooling version of Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Shitty thing is that, he actually looks way better than I did.

And I stayed that way for 24 hours.

The next morning, Dad was like, "Oh, she'll be okay, don't worry," but Mom was like, "Fuck this shit. My girl is a tough cookie, this ain't right."

Thank god for Mommies! For once her endless worrying did some good!

Turns out that one of the components of the anesthetic was still present in my system, which was also probably causing the drooling, and they had to inject me with an anti-sedative reversal thingamajig. So that was Vet Trip #4.

I think I drank half of Lake Tahoe when my brain cells finally kicked in...

Aw, and I JUST grew in the patch from when they shaved me last year!

The silver lining in this all is that, after 48 hours sans food, I've been eating nothing but real chicken and ham ever since! Mom's actually making some roast chicken for dinner now, which I'll get and Mavie won't!


It's a shitty trade off, but hey, some kitties get Christmas pressies. Others get knocked out cold and turned into a slobbering mess.

- R

Christmas Pressies and New Year Ressies

Damn that plate looked good. A bit small on the portion side, but hey...I'd still like to spend the holidays down by you one of these years. Can we decorate Mav like we would a Christmas tree?

One thing I do enjoy about being out here in Cali is being around more of my roomie's family. They really are darling creatures and yes, they even remembered me around the holidays.

Many thanks to the Buckleys for the stocking full o'fun!

I hear that humans have this silly notion of making resolutions for the new year.

Perhaps we should as well?

I know, I know...why should we as perfect examples of fabulous felines have to change anything about ourselves? And really, I don't think we should...but then again we aren't kittens anymore and I would like us to be around to live out the rest of the 8 lives we have to live.

Mitsy's Resolutions for 2010:
  • Exercise - chase after those annoying things with wings that I see
  • Medication - try not to eat around the pill my roommate thinks she cleverly sneaks into my food twice a day
  • Creative outlet - Work on my art, memiors and yes Ms. R...this blog more often

Phew! Thinking about having to do all those things more often this year really kinda poops a gal out.

Every princess needs her beauty sleep