2010 sucks already.

Here's my New Year's Resolution:

NOT go to the bloody vet.

Oh no, that didn't work. How about this.

NOT go to the bloody vet, AGAIN.

Oh no, that didn't work either. Let's try again.

NOT go to the bloody vet, YET AGAIN.

Goddammit! Mom said that she's probably paid of the vet's mortgage this month.

First Mavie got sick and did No.2s and No.3s all over the place. Fortunately for Dad, he had taken some extra holiday time off from work, so he got the honor of cleaning up after his Golden Boy. Vet Trip #1.

When Mavie came home, I smelled that nasty vet smell all over him and I couldn't help it! I HISSED and HISSED at him, which was kinda fun, so I threw in a few more hisses in just for good measure.

Lil' did I know that it would bite me in the ass. Ha. Ha. Pardon the weak pun.

Vet Trip #2: I get checked up, prodded and poked, some cold metal thing stuck up my bum. Verdict? My kidneys were fine (YAY!) but I had 2 teeth that were rotting.

What?

Didn't they just pull out two teeth LAST YEAR?! I'm not breeding jackrabbits in my mouth you know, what on earth am I going to have left?!


Vet Trip #3: Not happy. Mom ninja-ed me after 12 hours of no food, and so it began. I put up a mighty fight mind you, they may have taken my pearly yellows but I bit one of them real good. Just for the heck of it. I'm not usually very testy at the vet but, hey. Gotta throw some whippersnapper in there for good measure.

And then it was all a haze...

Despite having all these stupid expensive tests done for bloodwork blah blah vital organs reaction blah blah stuff, I ended up going home like a mindlessly drooling version of Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Shitty thing is that, he actually looks way better than I did.

And I stayed that way for 24 hours.

The next morning, Dad was like, "Oh, she'll be okay, don't worry," but Mom was like, "Fuck this shit. My girl is a tough cookie, this ain't right."

Thank god for Mommies! For once her endless worrying did some good!

Turns out that one of the components of the anesthetic was still present in my system, which was also probably causing the drooling, and they had to inject me with an anti-sedative reversal thingamajig. So that was Vet Trip #4.

I think I drank half of Lake Tahoe when my brain cells finally kicked in...

Aw, and I JUST grew in the patch from when they shaved me last year!

The silver lining in this all is that, after 48 hours sans food, I've been eating nothing but real chicken and ham ever since! Mom's actually making some roast chicken for dinner now, which I'll get and Mavie won't!

HAH!

It's a shitty trade off, but hey, some kitties get Christmas pressies. Others get knocked out cold and turned into a slobbering mess.

- R

1 Response to "2010 sucks already."

  • Mitsy Says:

    Thank god for your mommy and her overprotective nature! You'd still be a slobbering mess as we type! But then again, I really can't imagine you ever being a mess darling. You're way too dignified for that.

    I hope you're recovering well and enjoying all that great food humans get whenever they damn well please.


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